I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
