sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
