Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
