Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
