he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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