It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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