I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
