I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You can't just leave with hair like that
i've created a new STD.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
