I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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