She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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