Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
