we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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