two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
