Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
