what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
