Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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