I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
