When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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