508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
