He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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