I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize