it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
