The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
