omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my being single is dangerous.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
