I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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