I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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