It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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