Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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