Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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