You're my little dorito
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
