What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Randomize
