Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
