This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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