he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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