Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
