I hate your face
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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