Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
