I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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