Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
