she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
