im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Don't make out with my wife yet
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
what day is it and did you see me today?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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