hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We just shotgunned beers for America
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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