I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
