Me too!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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