I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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