I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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