I wanna bring you to show and tell
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
