Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
