I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
