Say something about gay babies.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
