Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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