watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You need a sexual gate keeper
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize