yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
