I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
