She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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