Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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