I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
