dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
