i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
