sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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