This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize