So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
