Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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